NACR Daily Meditation

Tuesday 9th of February 2010

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our
hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is
greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
I John 3:19-20

Sometimes it is difficult to believe that we ‘belong to the truth’. Sometimes
it is difficult to imagine having our ‘hearts at rest’. The part of our
heart that is damaged by shame reminds us of all our inadequacies and failures.
As this text puts it, our hearts condemn us.

In the process of recovery many of us become aware that we have internalized
a voice of shame and self-condemnation. We may tell ourselves that we are
unlovable. "How could anyone care about me?" Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are worthless. "I’m no good." Or, we may tell ourselves
that we are not capable. "I can’t do anything right." These are
some of the ways we condemn ourselves. We also may question our faith. We
may wonder, as this verse puts it, whether "we belong to the truth".
Because of our early experiences of rejection and our current self-condemnation,
we find ourselves expecting God to condemn us. As a result we cannot rest
in God’s presence.

But God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything.
God knows our history. God knows the wounds in our past. God knows our humanness.
God knows our strengths and weaknesses. God knows our failures. God knows we
condemn ourselves and expect that God will condemn us as well. God knows that we need healing.

God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And
God does not condemn us.

I long to set my heart at rest, Lord.
I long to rest in your presence.
But, my heart is full of self-condemnation.
The voices of shame are loud within me.

I am afraid that you will also condemn me, Lord.
I am afraid that you will agree with the shame voices.

Speak to me today, Lord.
Speak more loudly than the voices of shame.
Be greater than my heart.
Shame can only feed on the hidden things, Lord,
but nothing is hid from you.
Be more powerful than the shame, Lord.
Let me find rest today in your love.
Amen.

Copyright 2010 Dale and Juanita Ryan

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