Comments on: The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations http://www.nacronline.com Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:40:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations | In Truth & Love http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-34118 The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations | In Truth & Love Mon, 07 Nov 2011 05:27:05 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-34118 [...] Read the full post Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity, Christians, Church, Conflict Resolution, Congregations, David Augsburger, Faith, Forgivness, Healing, Justice, Life, Love, Ministry, Peace, Reconciliation, Religion, Scripture, Sin, Theology ← Telling Secrets Do nerves grow stretch marks? → /* [...] [...] Read the full post Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity, Christians, Church, Conflict Resolution, Congregations, David Augsburger, Faith, Forgivness, Healing, Justice, Life, Love, Ministry, Peace, Reconciliation, Religion, Scripture, Sin, Theology ← Telling Secrets Do nerves grow stretch marks? → /* [...]

]]> By: Confession, Repentance, and Making Amends to My Grown Children | Out of the CrAzY Closet http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-28070 Confession, Repentance, and Making Amends to My Grown Children | Out of the CrAzY Closet Fri, 15 Jul 2011 03:42:17 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-28070 [...] Finally, here is a link to the most wonderful article I’ve ever read on the subject of forgiveness. It’s entitled ”The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations,” an interview with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, and a well known author and speaker. His perspective is nothing like I would have expected from a Christian Theologian!  http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations [...] [...] Finally, here is a link to the most wonderful article I’ve ever read on the subject of forgiveness. It’s entitled ”The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations,” an interview with David Augsburger, Professor of Pastoral Care at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, and a well known author and speaker. His perspective is nothing like I would have expected from a Christian Theologian!  http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations [...]

]]> By: Paul http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-27703 Paul Tue, 05 Jul 2011 02:04:35 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-27703 I have read many things on forgiveness, this is the most powerful I have seen in over 20 years! There is great wisdom in each theme as you read down, something for everyone. The last part was very good and helped me greatly as I had a very difficult experience of being hurt by an organization, I had to see and decided to believe, accept, give the benifit of the doubt etc to people that I respected for their personal integrity, were put in a very difficult position by the monster ( organisation) and had to obey the party line for survival, obeying of the party line can be for many fears or reasons, a leader who refuses to must be a brave person of very strong tested biblical convictions! Here I am now ( at ) the head of a monster! What is my straturgy? Refuse to sir in the saddle, Use a stick from the backside !! Make the monster into mini independent monsters small enough to kill should they start to devour or hurt people, I failed a couple of times but overall it is working! Yours, Paul. I have read many things on forgiveness, this is the most powerful I have seen in over 20 years! There is great wisdom in each theme as you read down, something for everyone.

The last part was very good and helped me greatly as I had a very difficult experience of being hurt by an organization, I had to see and decided to believe, accept, give the benifit of the doubt etc to people that I respected for their personal integrity, were put in a very difficult position by the monster ( organisation) and had to obey the party line for survival, obeying of the party line can be for many fears or reasons, a leader who refuses to must be a brave person of very strong tested biblical convictions!
Here I am now ( at ) the head of a monster! What is my straturgy? Refuse to sir in the saddle, Use a stick from the backside !! Make the monster into mini independent monsters small enough to kill should they start to devour or hurt people, I failed a couple of times but overall it is working!
Yours, Paul.

]]> By: Sisterlisa http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-25597 Sisterlisa Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:24:48 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-25597 Very good article. Thank you so much! Very good article. Thank you so much!

]]> By: Mary http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-19961 Mary Fri, 19 Nov 2010 11:11:34 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-19961 I had a similar experience to Alice. After 15 years of emotional and physical abuse to me and my children I left my husband. He stayed on at our church while I sought sanctuary in another with the support of friends there. His church labeled me as a deserter and soon started using my former home as a place for women's retreats, fourth of July picnics etc. When my husband tried to take me to court to take my daughter away from me I was served papers by a man that was head of the children's ministry at the old church. Not one of the people there ever asked me what had happened in our marriage. My former pastor told me on the phone one night when I called for help(my husband had just come home drunk and was escalating into abuse)that he wasn't too sure if he was drunk or not because he was not there and it was just my word over the telephone. I could go on and on about the betrayal I felt when I finally got desperate and brave enough to ask for help only to be told no one was too sure whether I was being abused or not. Needless to say I am now divorced. My former husband has remarried for the fourth time with the churches blessing to the worship leader's friend. I now find I have not only to forgive my ex-husband, his family and community where we lived, but also a pastor and church family that I went to for help. How do I ever work through all of this? Not one person has ever acknowledged my abuse let alone apologized for being a part of it. I grieve alone in a twilight zone of memories that only I know ever existed. I had a similar experience to Alice. After 15 years of emotional and physical abuse to me and my children I left my husband. He stayed on at our church while I sought sanctuary in another with the support of friends there. His church labeled me as a deserter and soon started using my former home as a place for women’s retreats, fourth of July picnics etc. When my husband tried to take me to court to take my daughter away from me I was served papers by a man that was head of the children’s ministry at the old church. Not one of the people there ever asked me what had happened in our marriage. My former pastor told me on the phone one night when I called for help(my husband had just come home drunk and was escalating into abuse)that he wasn’t too sure if he was drunk or not because he was not there and it was just my word over the telephone. I could go on and on about the betrayal I felt when I finally got desperate and brave enough to ask for help only to be told no one was too sure whether I was being abused or not. Needless to say I am now divorced. My former husband has remarried for the fourth time with the churches blessing to the worship leader’s friend. I now find I have not only to forgive my ex-husband, his family and community where we lived, but also a pastor and church family that I went to for help. How do I ever work through all of this? Not one person has ever acknowledged my abuse let alone apologized for being a part of it. I grieve alone in a twilight zone of memories that only I know ever existed.

]]> By: Ever Wonder What Forgiveness Means? « Thoughts from Dave http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-19657 Ever Wonder What Forgiveness Means? « Thoughts from Dave Thu, 11 Nov 2010 04:38:43 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-19657 [...] Word: Forgiveness and it’s (sic) limitations,” The National Association for Christian Recovery, http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations (accessed May 29, [...] [...] Word: Forgiveness and it’s (sic) limitations,” The National Association for Christian Recovery, http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations (accessed May 29, [...]

]]> By: Cheryl Flinchum http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-19018 Cheryl Flinchum Tue, 19 Oct 2010 12:49:53 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-19018 The most beneficial article for spiritual application within the Christian community. "A very present help in the time of trouble", Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. So easy to read and so timely. Thank you. The most beneficial article for spiritual application within the Christian community. “A very present help in the time of trouble”, Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. So easy to read and so timely. Thank you.

]]> By: The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations « Official mkPLANET Blog http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-17175 The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations « Official mkPLANET Blog Thu, 29 Jul 2010 22:14:28 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-17175 [...] Read the full post   [...] [...] Read the full post   [...]

]]> By: Alice http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-9375 Alice Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:38:55 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-9375 www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....the result of being voted out of a 31-year (Baptist) church membership, because I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (some physical) abuse, and allowed the ex to live in the house for awhile. On my birthday (after fighting the system for 18 months to try and stop the pastor (of disaster), LOl from "counseling" any more women going thru divorce, because 2 of the women wanted to commit suicide, my name was put up on a big screen 3 times, followed by the words;"Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God." Called to a meeting of deacons (16 "men"), not allowed to have a woman with me and asked: "Are you still having sex with your ex/" No boundaries. It's been 5 years, and I'd love to be able to forgive, but it hasn't happened yet. The betrayal of a whole church, who didn't even ask me what had happened. I cannot comprehend that kind of "blind" thinking....park your brain at the door. I could never have written on a ballot and walked away without asking the person in question. Good ole boys' network, never was called to a meeting. I never understood legalism until then/now. I've managed to do some amazing things with my life, despite a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army); won a scholarship (because I wrote about my life of overcoming and transcending the bsue), am in school at age 63, written my poetry (now being published): Sanctuary of the Soul, and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice), moderator of an abused survivors group, working really hard on getting the message out regarding verbal abuse (rarely recognized nor understood); published in a University journal 3 times, etc., etc.. Fortunately, I had an amazing therapist (who is also a pastor) journey with me through the church nightmare; he was appalled at how I was treated. I welcome anyone's comments, etc....wacalice@aol.com P.S. My brag sheet: My endorsements; Elie Wiesel, Dr. Larry Dossey, Clint van Zandt, Patricia Evans, Alice Miller, Nikki Giovanni, Wayne Dyer, etc. etc... I have over 16,806 hits on my site; something lovely came from the ashes.....I even had a pastor from Israel pray with me in Hebrew (over the phone). http://www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com….the result of being voted out of a 31-year (Baptist) church membership, because I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (some physical) abuse, and allowed the ex to live in the house for awhile.

On my birthday (after fighting the system for 18 months to try and stop the pastor (of disaster), LOl from “counseling” any more women going thru divorce, because 2 of the women wanted to commit suicide, my name was put up on a big screen 3 times, followed by the words;”Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God.” Called to a meeting of deacons (16 “men”), not allowed to have a woman with me and asked: “Are you still having sex with your ex/” No boundaries.

It’s been 5 years, and I’d love to be able to forgive, but it hasn’t happened yet. The betrayal of a whole church, who didn’t even ask me what had happened. I cannot comprehend that kind of “blind” thinking….park your brain at the door. I could never have written on a ballot and walked away without asking the person in question.

Good ole boys’ network, never was called to a meeting. I never understood legalism until then/now.

I’ve managed to do some amazing things with my life, despite a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army); won a scholarship (because I wrote about my life of overcoming and transcending the bsue), am in school at age 63, written my poetry (now being published): Sanctuary of the Soul, and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice), moderator of an abused survivors group, working really hard on getting the message out regarding verbal abuse (rarely recognized nor understood); published in a University journal 3 times, etc., etc..

Fortunately, I had an amazing therapist (who is also a pastor) journey with me through the church nightmare; he was appalled at how I was treated. I welcome anyone’s comments, etc….wacalice@aol.com

P.S. My brag sheet: My endorsements; Elie Wiesel, Dr. Larry Dossey, Clint van Zandt, Patricia Evans, Alice Miller, Nikki Giovanni, Wayne Dyer, etc. etc…

I have over 16,806 hits on my site; something lovely came from the ashes…..I even had a pastor from Israel pray with me in Hebrew (over the phone).

]]> By: shary http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-6364 shary Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:58:24 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-6364 Now I understand why I never have been able to forgive the organization which refused to acknowledge that we were abused at boarding school. As depicted in the film "All God's Children" the organization finally acknowledged their wrong. But now the same organization is refusing to acknowledge wrongs done in their other schools. As quoted from above "We can’t live without institutions but we must recognize that institutions live to protect themselves. Survival is one of their major motivations." But why do we stay in organizations which are protecting themselves and hurting children? Now I understand why I never have been able to forgive the organization which refused to acknowledge that we were abused at boarding school. As depicted in the film “All God’s Children” the organization finally acknowledged their wrong. But now the same organization is refusing to acknowledge wrongs done in their other schools. As quoted from above “We can’t live without institutions but we must recognize that institutions live to protect themselves. Survival is one of their major motivations.” But why do we stay in organizations which are protecting themselves and hurting children?

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