Comments on: The F Word: Forgiveness and it’s Imitations http://www.nacronline.com Sun, 07 Mar 2010 21:24:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Alice http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-9375 Alice Fri, 23 Oct 2009 17:38:55 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-9375 www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com....the result of being voted out of a 31-year (Baptist) church membership, because I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (some physical) abuse, and allowed the ex to live in the house for awhile. On my birthday (after fighting the system for 18 months to try and stop the pastor (of disaster), LOl from "counseling" any more women going thru divorce, because 2 of the women wanted to commit suicide, my name was put up on a big screen 3 times, followed by the words;"Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God." Called to a meeting of deacons (16 "men"), not allowed to have a woman with me and asked: "Are you still having sex with your ex/" No boundaries. It's been 5 years, and I'd love to be able to forgive, but it hasn't happened yet. The betrayal of a whole church, who didn't even ask me what had happened. I cannot comprehend that kind of "blind" thinking....park your brain at the door. I could never have written on a ballot and walked away without asking the person in question. Good ole boys' network, never was called to a meeting. I never understood legalism until then/now. I've managed to do some amazing things with my life, despite a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army); won a scholarship (because I wrote about my life of overcoming and transcending the bsue), am in school at age 63, written my poetry (now being published): Sanctuary of the Soul, and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice), moderator of an abused survivors group, working really hard on getting the message out regarding verbal abuse (rarely recognized nor understood); published in a University journal 3 times, etc., etc.. Fortunately, I had an amazing therapist (who is also a pastor) journey with me through the church nightmare; he was appalled at how I was treated. I welcome anyone's comments, etc....wacalice@aol.com P.S. My brag sheet: My endorsements; Elie Wiesel, Dr. Larry Dossey, Clint van Zandt, Patricia Evans, Alice Miller, Nikki Giovanni, Wayne Dyer, etc. etc... I have over 16,806 hits on my site; something lovely came from the ashes.....I even had a pastor from Israel pray with me in Hebrew (over the phone). http://www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com….the result of being voted out of a 31-year (Baptist) church membership, because I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal (some physical) abuse, and allowed the ex to live in the house for awhile.

On my birthday (after fighting the system for 18 months to try and stop the pastor (of disaster), LOl from “counseling” any more women going thru divorce, because 2 of the women wanted to commit suicide, my name was put up on a big screen 3 times, followed by the words;”Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God.” Called to a meeting of deacons (16 “men”), not allowed to have a woman with me and asked: “Are you still having sex with your ex/” No boundaries.

It’s been 5 years, and I’d love to be able to forgive, but it hasn’t happened yet. The betrayal of a whole church, who didn’t even ask me what had happened. I cannot comprehend that kind of “blind” thinking….park your brain at the door. I could never have written on a ballot and walked away without asking the person in question.

Good ole boys’ network, never was called to a meeting. I never understood legalism until then/now.

I’ve managed to do some amazing things with my life, despite a lifetime (except for 3 years in the army); won a scholarship (because I wrote about my life of overcoming and transcending the bsue), am in school at age 63, written my poetry (now being published): Sanctuary of the Soul, and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph (from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice), moderator of an abused survivors group, working really hard on getting the message out regarding verbal abuse (rarely recognized nor understood); published in a University journal 3 times, etc., etc..

Fortunately, I had an amazing therapist (who is also a pastor) journey with me through the church nightmare; he was appalled at how I was treated. I welcome anyone’s comments, etc….wacalice@aol.com

P.S. My brag sheet: My endorsements; Elie Wiesel, Dr. Larry Dossey, Clint van Zandt, Patricia Evans, Alice Miller, Nikki Giovanni, Wayne Dyer, etc. etc…

I have over 16,806 hits on my site; something lovely came from the ashes…..I even had a pastor from Israel pray with me in Hebrew (over the phone).

]]> By: shary http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-6364 shary Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:58:24 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-6364 Now I understand why I never have been able to forgive the organization which refused to acknowledge that we were abused at boarding school. As depicted in the film "All God's Children" the organization finally acknowledged their wrong. But now the same organization is refusing to acknowledge wrongs done in their other schools. As quoted from above "We can’t live without institutions but we must recognize that institutions live to protect themselves. Survival is one of their major motivations." But why do we stay in organizations which are protecting themselves and hurting children? Now I understand why I never have been able to forgive the organization which refused to acknowledge that we were abused at boarding school. As depicted in the film “All God’s Children” the organization finally acknowledged their wrong. But now the same organization is refusing to acknowledge wrongs done in their other schools. As quoted from above “We can’t live without institutions but we must recognize that institutions live to protect themselves. Survival is one of their major motivations.” But why do we stay in organizations which are protecting themselves and hurting children?

]]> By: Elise http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-5561 Elise Mon, 11 May 2009 04:08:05 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-5561 Now, this is an article worth reading. It gets into the depths that the victim of abuse, betrayal is feeling and sorts through the very mixed emotions you feel when reality has not been shared, betrayal and injustice continue from a person who was once a "soulmate" to me. This helped me. Now, this is an article worth reading. It gets into the depths that the victim of abuse, betrayal is feeling and sorts through the very mixed emotions you feel when reality has not been shared, betrayal and injustice continue from a person who was once a “soulmate” to me. This helped me.

]]> By: Laura http://www.nacronline.com/emotional-issues/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations/comment-page-1#comment-5025 Laura Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:56:36 +0000 http://www.christiansurvivors.com/cri/nacr/wordpress/?page_id=160#comment-5025 Without a doubt, this is one of the most intelligent, insightful, and validating articles on forgiveness I have read. A true gift. Thank you. Without a doubt, this is one of the most intelligent, insightful, and validating articles on forgiveness I have read. A true gift. Thank you.

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